Before and After

Before Kids:

Find cool brownie recipe online. Print it out. Preheat oven. Mix together brownies. Place in oven. Throw together crock pot chili recipe while brownies are cooking. Retrieve brownies from oven a few minutes after chili is cooking away in the crockpot. Go on with the day.

After Kids:

Find cool brownie recipe online. Print it out. Pop in video for toddler, nurse baby. Take shower and get dressed, because baby is asleep and toddler is busy and this will be your one and only chance. Melt chocolate, change baby diaper, put baby on back in an Ergo because he is fussing. Defrost burger you forgot to put out the night before due to lack of sleep. Tell toddler yes she can play with water if she stays on the porch near the door. Put baby in doorway because toddler makes him laugh. Preheat oven, mix together rest of brownies, put in oven. Start burger browning. Check on toddler. Turn off stove under burger. Take off toddler's clothing on porch, spray her off with the hose since she interpreted 'you can play with water' as 'you can mix the water with your ultra bright sidewalk chalk and then body paint with it.' Take toddler in house, tell her to stand on wood floor while you go get washcloth and clean clothes. Get washcloth and clean clothes. Retrieve toddler from carpet, clean her up and have her put on new clothes. Clean carpet with mini steamer. While you have it out, clean the spot from the accident she had 4 days ago that your husband did not clean up and did not tell you about until last night. Retrieve brownies from oven. Brown burger, throw in crock pot. Add tomatoes and spices. Make toddler lunch. Chop onion. Saute onion with right hand, with your back facing the stove. Hold baby in left arm and nurse him again. Add onions to crock pot and turn on. Find lid to crock pot. Convince baby to let go of nipple so you can reach crock pot lid without causing bodily injury. Put lid on crock pot. Go on with the day.